Betrayed by Family

(15) My relationship with ‘Richie Heaven’ Choo Yin Looi, Winnie and ‘Sorry’ Tan Chek Wan, Edmund

2009-03-06T14:37:00.060+08:00

Other than my deep resentment for her pretend-to-be-rich character, I have always have a soft spot for her, loved and helped her, stood by her side. It was a duty of big brother giving as much help as he could for a younger, weaker sister who having married early and with a pretty mediocre education may find the real world too damn far from her dream world.

Because of her character of bowing and rubbing shoulders with highbrows and elites, I somehow was on her list maybe because I had been able to single-handedly and successfully accomplish what I needed to do as the son of my father. I took care of my family, took us out of poor list and restored my family’s pride and respect.

She began emulating at what I was doing, buying and using, except my vulgar language which is a part of me. I was brought up in a tailoring workshop and I am damn proud this. In fact, my entire family was emulating me one way or another. But very sadly, the most important thing they all never learned from my father or me was the pride and honor of oneself and the family. Although they all did inherit 1 thing from my mother that is to tell lies right in the face of your conscience.

The new look of Richie Heaven and Sorry

I have always loved dogs while Ritchie Heaven and Sorry never had any dogs

We were very, very close and I was very well respected. It earned me the honor to name her 2 daughters. Both Callista and Evania were chosen by me.

When she got married, I gave her $1000 ‘hung bao’ and helped out in all the wedding preparation. Marrying to someone of the same character was bliss but her problem of keeping up the Joneses doubled and became very real.

When the 1st child, Callista was ready for kindergarten and all other activities every Joneses put their kid through nowadays. She also had to put her through but there was a problem with piano lesson. Richie Heaven was not in the same league with the Joneses who own pianos at home. She needed one but didn’t have enough money to buy one. When Richie Heaven and Sorry were discussing in front of me about a used piano costing $2000, I told them I would give them $1000 and they take care of the rest.

Pictures always tell the truth

She has now traded in this used piano for a brand new Yamaha and she comes round telling me straight in my face that she didn’t remember of me contributing $1000 and that she has paid the entire amount herself. A pair of fucking liars telling lies staring every morning at the holy cross, the holy bible and the daily bread, attending church services without fail and taking bible study lessons. What kind of holy spirits are these?

My big-brotherly-love for her covers a lot of ground. I was the chauffeur-on-call whenever she needed pick-up or drop-off from anywhere, at any time. It always looks good for her to show off with a sedan car waiting for her at end of her shift instead of Sorry’s panel van. I was a good cab to pick up and drop off at busy and crowded shopping malls, good for going to doctors, good for picking up and dropping her children at schools, tuitions, etc.

Because of my computer knowledge, I was also on call to help for any of their software or hardware problems. During the time she was doing her Bachelor and Master Degrees either in Singapore or Australia, I had in many cases worked through the nights to help her complete her presentations or thesis. There were times I had to advise and comfort her while she was crying over the phone on how confused she was with comments of her tutors. She also comes frequently to my place for help on her various assignments for the degree courses and her hospital work. Besides working on assignments, we do karaoke singing, play mahjong, watch dvd movies, having meals together, etc.

Her family was in trouble after she signed up for the degree courses. Sorry lost his job but they still needed to live up to their lifestyle. It wasn’t enough to cover with 1 income alone and there was constant stress and conflict. For whatever reason, Callista was probably the scapegoat and eventually broke off from family and moved to hostel. My love for Callista was equal that of Richie Heaven and I make sure I take care of her — visiting her as often as possible with her favorite food, her favorite soup, bringing her groceries, sending her back to hostel after her visit at my place, etc.

Just before her final examination, she felt sick and I took her to hospital. She spent a week in hospital and I was there taking care of her. I arranged for Richie Heaven to go hospital to take care of her so that they can get back together. Even though it was mother and child, somehow there was crack in the glass. Finally she was discharged and she sat for her final and miraculously passed her final examination. I was so happy for her.

As she didn’t want to return home from hostel, I insisted she moved to my house and share the room with my mother. I moved her, housed her and we lived like a family. She got my car to drive around. Suddenly after about 6 months, she began telling my mother that one of her friends was getting married while another was having a sister going to university and they all needed to borrow some of her stuff. She began moving her stuff bit by bit transporting with my car until only some change of clothes were left. I knew from the beginning something was wrong but my mother said it was just lending to her friends.

When nothing much was left, I asked her but she still insisted she was only lending to her friends. Then the next day, she took everything and told my mother she wasn’t coming back and took my car for the last time to move her stuff. She never told me she was moving out and not coming back. I guess this is the gene passed on from Richie Heaven and Sorry which is that — it is all right to lie so long as you lie in front of the holy cross because you can always go back and ask for forgiveness. Also make sure you cover up your past.

After Napier was sold, Richie Heaven did her calculation and it worked out that she wouldn’t need my help no more as she is propelled into the class of the rich. This change in attitude was fucking immediate. She wanted me to go with her for the signing of documents at lawyer’s office and the appointment was fixed. On that day, she was to pick me after sending Eldora to some ECA activities. Instead she called on the way that she would park her car at my place and I was to drive her to lawyer’s office. I was fucking shocked, I started yelling. I had never ridden in her car and she most probably feel I didn’t have the class to ride in her car.

The moment I shouted, she changed her mind and the ride in her car was all quiet. After signing the papers, I went my way without riding in her car. Like my father, we have backbone of steel and we don’t need no fucking charity, no free rides.

Just at this right moment, an article carried in The Business Times on a major court ruling regarding property ownership dispute hit me hard. It means the share of the property can potentially be readjusted by court based on contributions even if owners are legally equal shareholders. I could expose the conspiracy of my entire family of Christian assholes and hypocrisy. I can go fuck and shame them, each and every one of these assholes in public, in court.

The lawyer who was evaluating my case said I needed neutral witnesses in Richie Heaven and Sorry. I always thought Richie Heaven was with me as I had been for her, my true sister by blood. But I was fucking wrong and I am paying for this fucking mistake of my life. After taking her cold response to my calls, I finally arranged a meeting with the lawyer.

She dropped a bombshell. Instead of saying the truth, she told everyone including God that she knew nothing more than she and Sorry had only used their CPF for their share of Napier Road and no cash. She claimed she knew nothing of the cash I put in or any other details regarding Killer Whale or Nik the Snake.

She questioned me — “Why sue?” even advised me that nothing is more valuable than family blood ties saying — “What is $500,000.00 compared with family blood ties?”, “What do I gain even if I won? ....You will loose your family....” like I don’t already. Do they all still greet me Big Brother and don’t call police whenever they see me appear in front of them? I have lived my life valuing family blood ties most but now I know what this is all about.

My lawyer after the meeting with Richie Heaven told me straight in the face to forget it as I will loose big time. She was not there to be my witness or speak the truth. Her statement would destroy me. I will loose and made to pay for all legal and court fees. I will end up all fucked up, completely broke and bankrupt.

Going against the practice of a child of God and teaching of the bible she wouldn’t speak no truth. Why? Simple — to hide the past at all cost, because she hasn’t got a glorious past and she is fucking ashamed of her past. Once exposed, she wouldn’t be to carry the same fucking airs walking around KK hospital or around her compound or around the church or anywhere.

Her value of family blood ties was completely exposed. I have no family member who has no backbone because any child of my father must have. She was no longer my dear sister. Her dearest daughter, Evania had been persuading me many times not to fault her but to forgive her. I am no son of God but son of my father and I don’t qualify to forgive. Forgiveness is between her and God. You reap what you sow. Even Evania has now disappeared and not been in touch with me.

Her pretentiousness of the value of family blood ties led her stuck my mother which I know wasn’t what she had planned. Ever since my mother told me off that I had not looked after and taken care of my family and that the money stolen from me by Killer Whale and Nik the Snake are not mine, I have lost my mother. Richie Heaven pretending to show that mother is most important in life, took her to stay with her thinking it was only temporary. It was to be a fairy tale ending for my mother staying in a big bungalow enjoying and living out the golden years of her life. But from what I know this is not. This is a house without joy, without conversation, without interaction and full of shame, sadness and coldness. My mother didn’t get a room but shared the partitioned servant room with the maid.

The most revealing pretentious value for family blood ties was unfold in the most sacred of all places — The Church. I was down at Telok Ayer Methodist Church 1 one Sunday and sure enough the whole bunch of Christian assholes appeared after service. I confronted Killer Whale who was the 1st to come out to smoke. He was shocked and immediately called the police citing harassment. Then the entire group comprising of Holy Molly, her daughter Sien, Callista, Twin Sis and her husband, Meng and son, Boy and daughter, Ting came round to surround me and prepared to pounce on me. It became quite a scene.

I was surprised to see Callista at church, she had stopped going to church for the past 2 to 3 years. Now they were all there to protect Holy Molly and Killer Whale. Do they need to? Does an ex-convict murderer, Killer Whale need protection from a chronically-ill man like me? I only wanted a true and open discussion on the sale and share of Napier Road.

Richie Heaven and Eldora came out last and instead of coming over to save the family like what she had been saying and preaching. She fled and disappeared as quickly as possible burying all family ties — just don’t bring me shame, I want no part of this.

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(14) Who is ‘Richie Heaven’ Choo Yin Looi, Winnie? Who is ‘Sorry’ Tan Chek Wan, Edmund?

2008-10-17T12:19:00.020+08:00

She is the 2nd daughter in the family. She is really fucking lucky that she has a father with a backbone harder than steel otherwise she is now a fucking maid. My father was a big time gambler, a big time loser and always in debt and one of them who had lent him money was our granny’s countrywoman, Yee Po. She had come to Singapore from China together with my granny. One fine day Yee Po came visiting to check if there was any money to be returned to her. As there was none, she suggested to my mother to stop Richie Heaven’s education since she was never good at it and let Richie Heaven join her to work as a maid at her boss place. With the wages earned she can then help pay for my father’s debt.

Nobody fucks with my father. Nobody tells my father how to run his life or his family. My father will never, NEVER make use of his children. My father always bears the consequences of his action, he never run away. My father somehow must have borrowed from somebody else and paid back Yee Po. Relationship between Yee Po and my father broke off for many years.

Richie Heaven never appreciates what my father had done. She continued with her fucked-up study and finally after PSLE she couldn’t make her 1st or 2nd or 3rd choice of secondary schools and was not posted to any. She had to wait by the sideline for whatever vacancy left from any secondary school. She finally got posted to a secondary school at a remote, god-forsaken area that we all know nothing of. My mother had to take a cab together with her to report and register for a place. She was once again fucking lucky because before the 1st term of new secondary term was over, she was informed they got a vacancy either in the 1st or 2nd choice school and so she went to a secondary school near our home.

After her secondary school, she had wanted to be a flight stewardess but never tried because she knew my father would never allow. So she bumped around a little without direction working at a textile factory where Sorry and Holy Molly were also working, to a shop in People’s Park, to the men’s shop where both my father and I were working. Finally, she joined nurses’ training and was accepted as trainee staff nurse. It was 3-year sponsored course and 1 of the clauses was not to be pregnant during this period.

Sorry came after her and it was one Chinese New Year Eve that he made arrangement with Holy Molly to crash into our house. Richie Heaven was too happy to go along with anyone who drives a car and rid her of her attachment to the Family of Choo. It was Made-in-Heaven and she got to show off with a man with wheels (this is a man and not a boyfriend as he is a lot older) who sends and picks her at work, brings lunches, dinners and suppers, who could snore and wait hours in the car for her and stayed up with her into the wee hours every night in the kitchen of our house. In those days, it wasn’t too difficult for a bachelor with no family obligations to drive a used car especially if he was willing to sacrifice on his other expenses.

They were a perfect match. But we were pissed with this going on every night in the kitchen, we needed sleep. In those days of 9 persons in a 2-bedroom HDB, me and Killer Whale were sleeping in the hall. The ultimatum was that if they needed each other so badly every night they must get married. So Richie Heaven married very young, I am not quite sure but it could be before her 21st birthday.

Here the truth was revealed, they were really a sorrowful piece of shit, hiding their real self, pretending and projecting what they were not. They didn’t have no money to get married even though they wanted. The marriage was carried out on borrowed money and it was no Christian marriage. They didn’t know nothing about Christianity.

It was a dream come true for Richie Heaven, she finally got rid of her roots and be on her own. No more association with a family that was looked down by others and a gambling father. She started using the name of Tan Yin Looi instead of her given name of Choo Yin Looi. Why was she ashamed of the family? I am fucking proud of my family name no matter whether it is respected or not.

She broke my father’s heart when he came to know that she was using Tan Yin Looi. The irony was she reverted to Choo Yin Looi when my father and I were doing well in our tailor shop and I was driving and our family was respected. She has since been boasting how fucking proud she is of the family name and how much she values family ties.

But wait and look at Napier Road, she has been telling me to forget about the $500,000 stolen from me by Killer Whale and Nick the Snake to keep with family ties. The problem and irony is that while she kept insisting that I not to pursue the $500,000 for the sake of keeping the family intact, she on the other hand would wail and cry for more than a week when Nick the Snake told her she only had 1 share of Napier instead of 2. Why did she have to cry? Why can’t she forget it to keep family ties? She had me sent the title deeds to her by email. Why she needed to see the title deeds? So that she probably could get a lawyer to confirm her 2 shares instead 1 as claimed by Nick the Snake. What a fucking hypocrite.

The marriage was perfect with both pretenders covering each other ass, doing their bit to hide and project middle-income, higher society behavior and class and elegance. Sorry with only Chinese primary education was able to mix with Richie Heaven nurses’ crowd with big success. He could cover up his poor English by pretending not being able to hear what was said or asked. Whenever something was said, his reply was “Sorry” which was like “I didn’t hear it, can you repeat?” They were also perfect in projecting “Thank you” for anything whether warranted or not.

There is a limit to pretending even between husband and wife. When Sorry knew the textile plant he was working wasn’t going to last too long. He joined his manager of the textile plant in dealing textile on their own. He didn’t have no money in this venture so became the delivery link. He had to change car to a panel van. Richie Heaven was so against and ashamed as it means status drop from a car-owner to a delivery man. So from the day of the panel van, she was dropped off and picked up at a designated spot away from the main glare of the hospital entrance. This way hopefully no colleagues would come to see this panel van and ask questions.

So the textile plant folded, there was no more protection and he was struggling. I tried teaching him a new skill of drafting and cutting clothes but instead of picking up from a master giving him one on one coaching all he did was yawning throughout the months of coaching. Eventually, it was a waste of time and effort which explains the reason why when he became a real-estate agent he never passed the minimum CEHAR examination after 4 tries. His preparations were always professional — he had guide, reference, legal books spread out but starts yawning when it was time to read. He didn’t make a transaction for more than a year but still dress to impress driving around with a notebook, making calls, saying sorry and finally keeping a private residential address at all cost.

It was living on wife’s pay and they were really struggling to keep the car and private residential address and the lifestyles of the 2 daughters, Callista and Evania, both in university and the youngest daughter, Eldora who was in lower primary. There was monetary tension all the time. The relationship between Callista and both Richie Heaven and Sorry broke down at this time. What man is a man who has lost his backbone? This is crippled inside. In desperation, he began selling health tonics and products from one of those multi-layered marketing companies. His character was so low that he was selling to entire family, asking my mother to drink the samples he made, insisting those drinks were good for her chronic illness and she should buy and take them regularly. Luckily, my mother was no fool and didn’t take any free drink. What the fuck does he know about the medicines my mother was taking and what kind of adverse if not fatal reaction it can cause? Is he a fucking pharmacist or doctor? My mother needs besides others, 3 different kinds of medicine just for hypertension.

So when Richie Heaven got a government sponsored for post-basic, post-SRN education in Australia, it was godsend. It was like a relief fund, she could bring Eldora along and Sorry without work and income could go live in Australia on government funding. My mother also went along to help look after Eldora but all expenses were borne by me because great pretenders like Richie Heaven and Sorry can easily twist the story to say my mother wanted to go travel.

When she failed her 1st attempt she had to go back Australia again the next year, she went only with Eldora as Evania had managed to find a job in China on the internet for his father. After a short while, she couldn’t cope without my mother but once again twisted the story so that it was my mother who missed Eldora. My old mother who is illiterate, walks with difficulty and couldn’t speak a word of English had to fly all alone to Melbourne to help take care of Eldora and I pay all her expenses including those domestic sight-seeing flights and expenses.

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(13) My Relationship with Stealer Then

2008-06-05T15:04:00.007+08:00

As with all other members of family, our relationship was very, very good although he knew I was always watching his stealing antics and he was very wary of me. He steals behind my back. Even his marriage was behind my back. It was not held in Singapore but in Penang. I was not informed in advance, all preparations were made between him and my mother and other family members. When everything was finalized and I was informed, I was told that I was not included as part of the bridegroom’s family members to the marriage in Penang.

Why was he afraid of me attending? I had all along been paying the bills for all family expenditure and family outings. He knew I wouldn’t take a fucking cent from him and I also don’t like his fucking stealing antics. I always took care of him when he wasn’t doing well. After his marriage he never got himself a home but continued staying at us. Not long later, 10D Napier Road was bought and the rest of the family moved there. As I had been paying for all the utilities bills and fees for the flat through automatic back deduction, I let it continued. So here we have a married man setting up his family in his father’s flat without having to pay rent or mortgage or utilities bills.

Stealer Then was having a hell of a time, he could do or experiment anything without any consequences. He built himself a koi pond in the living room by pouring bricks and concrete without any permit from HDB, without calculating the extra weight of water and bricks and concrete, without checking if the floor concrete was waterproof, etc. The kois didn’t survive and he finally had to hack everything and get professional disposals to clear the debris.The only worth-mentioning thing was that his free daily newspaper entitlement went to me to the new address at 10D Napier Road. In any case he never reads at home, he doesn’t have the time at home.

As I had helped the other brothers utilize their CPF savings to make money from the purchase of 10D Napier Road, I suggested he bought over my father’s flat using his CPF savings. In this way, my mother gets the cash generated from the sale which can be re-invested and he gets a flat and a sure-win investment. Being a stealer he thought it was a scam, it was too good to be true. What he didn’t know, Big Brother don’t fucking cheat or steal from his family. In any case, he didn’t have no fucking money at all for me to steal or cheat. At that time the price was to be around $75,000.00 and it was eventually sold at $175,000.00 to a couple from PRC.

Apart from his fucking stealing habit which I hated most, we were very, very close. I always wanted him to do well in life and work, a brother that I am proud of. I was always giving him advice on life and work — like ideas for photos for particular sport, like designs for poster competitions, like being professional in work and in times of down-sizing and layoffs, like relationships with slimy colleagues, pitfalls of modern society, etc. I was ecstatic every time I hear he won an award or a promotion or generally some kind of achievement.

At one period when I went overseas to work and him being the only one with a driving license, I let him had full control of my car. It was to be for the family use and not just his personal and he was to drive it. It was made very clear that he was to drive my father to the doctors for follow-ups and reviews on his operation and various chronic sicknesses. He began playing by the rules but eventually he started to disrespect my father who had already been reduced to a weak and fragile soul after his stroke. He made life so unbearable and humiliating for my father that no matter how weak and fragile he was, he told Stealer Then to fuck himself. My father went quietly to the doctors himself; here is a man with a backbone made of steel. I found him once squatting at the side of the driveway of Tan Tock Seng Hospital apparently trying to remember the home address to tell the cab driver. I was so, so fucking sad, tears were rolling down non-stop.

The car became his personal for him to drive around to work, to impress, to play, to dates, etc. Just imagine, a fucking young punk just out of army, with an English name, drawing a meager salary, dressed up in tailor-made clothes driving a car around.

The disrespect for my father grew more and more and on one occasion, he and Killer Whale threatened to beat up my father. All these were behind my back. Both these 2 assholes were kicked out of the house so they went to Holy Molly’s private 2-storey detached house to stay. Kicked out of public housing to private housing — good deal. Because of my love for family, I wanted the family to stay together. I wanted them to truly repent, respect my father and finally come back to the family. I took care of them, got them their needs, visited them daily, spent a lot of time with them and most of all, I quietly paid Holy Molly’s mother-in-law some money for the use of her house and inconvenience caused. Her mother-in-law was a very good lady and she wouldn’t accept even though I insisted. I cannot remember if she finally accepted. She died many years ago because of cancer.

Stealer or not, he was my brother and I loved him. But being born stealer he would take advantage of this brotherly love, he comes around me every time he needed money and I would just write him a check. He pays me back at his convenience and I really mean at his convenience, a little by little. Whenever he was ready to pay the little bit he would first put it away into his own fixed deposit and pushed back paying me. He knew I didn’t care at all for his kind of petty stealer antics as I didn’t need the money and I love the family.

My cars spanning for more than 10 years, I pay for the cars and he gets to drive them and claim car allowance from The Straits Times. Whenever I needed to use it, he wasn’t happy. Things got uglier after I moved to Napier. This time he had to drive the car from my father’s flat at Taman Ho Swee to Napier to hand me the car. After parking the car, he would leave and sometimes give my mother a call letting her know the car was there. He wouldn’t dare call me because almost all the times the fuel tank was empty and he knew I would ask this question regarding fuel tank. The reason for empty fuel tank was — “you don’t get no free fuel from me”. Every fucking time I start the engine, I would have to call and fuck him for leaving me an empty tank. A stealer is always a stealer. A weed is always a weed no matter how brilliant the flower.

He wasn’t happy and started his plan on having his own car. If I am not wrong, he approached me nicely saying he didn’t want to own my car and he would get his own. Very nicely again he said he was short of some money and I would write him a check. So the car was returned to me. I didn’t use it so it was passed on the Nick the Snake who suddenly was elevated to car owner status. He drives to work, send and pick up his wife to and from work, drives mother-in-law around, basically showing off and enjoying the added convenience. But the car was beaten up by Stealer Then the day he started his plan of owing his own and Nick the Snake blamed me for passing him such a piece of beaten shit.

One fine day during one of the weekend family gatherings at Napier, everyone was pointing finger at Stealer Then saying he was already a fucking married man and to behave like one. He got to support his own family and not let me pay for all his bills. He was already getting free stay at my father’s flat which was like his own. He was pissed that he was no longer looked after by me so our relationship broke off. I stopped paying all other bills except property tax because the flat belongs to my father and I take care of my father’s obligations, dead or alive. In retaliation, Stealer Then stopped his free newspaper entitlement to me at Napier.

Years passed and on one Chinese New Year day, Stealer Then together with his family, wife Soo See and 2 daughters, Elrica and Elysia came to Napier and we got back again. Raising a family wasn’t easy and he was stingy with his kids. I have a soft spot for them, besides getting a lot of free clothing, there were also toys, furniture and other household items, I also buy them electronic play toy which Stealer Then was too stingy to buy. Relationship returned to very, very good and Stealer Then would quietly invite me alone to celebrate their birthdays and shoot videos. I love both of them very much.

Things became different when I was no longer in high-flying work and was diagnosed with a non-curable chronic disease. There were no more free stuffs from me and no more invitations. He was doing better and didn’t have to borrow from me any longer so there was no more respect for me. I was simply pushed aside at family gatherings, cameras and video recorders would stop clicking when I came into the picture. Whatever I said or might have suggested during family gatherings were completely ignored as though no such person had said something like this. Because of the family, I just swallowed my pride and pretended nothing happened.

Once again, it was another Chinese New Day and this time he came with a Bull Terrier pup which he bought because it must be some Taoist geomancy saying it was good luck. A puppy is a puppy and with my love and knowledge of dogs, I out of goodwill started showing both Elrica and Elysia how to look after puppies. Showed them when and how to toilet-train, play with the pup. Stealer Then didn't like a bit of it and told me off that his dog didn’t need this kind of training. When it started chewing electric cables, I told them how to show the pup this was not allowed. At this time, Stealer Then jumped in and picked up his precious dog and told his family to leave Napier with him at once. Relationship broke off immediately until today and will stay broken forever.

Last I heard from my mother was that the dog has grown to become such a nuisance. It shits on their beds and covers the shit with their blankets. It doesn’t behave or obey to commands, it has a mind of its own.

Recently I went to his flat in CCK and Elrica greeted me. Before letting me in, she had to lock the dog up and while doing that she called Stealer Then who told her to ignore me immediately like she suddenly disappeared from the flat. I didn’t know and was waiting like a fool. Suddenly Soo See showed up with a kid that she was baby-sitting. She let me into the flat and we had a long conversation. I asked Elrica why she did that, she said her father told her so. What kind of father is this? A fucking no-backbone asshole who teaches his children to bury their heads in the sand in times of trouble.

Why was Stealer Then afraid and what was he afraid? Yes, the day before I was down at the Telok Ayer Methodist Church 2 talking to Holy Molly who was so afraid that she had to immediately called for her bodyguard — Killer Whale to protect her. Afraid because she initiated the family to betray me. But why was Stealer Then afraid? I was there to find out the new address of Nick the Snake and nothing else. Was Stealer Then involved in the entire plot to betray me?

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(12) Who is ‘Stealer Then’ Choo Kwok Kwong, Jonathan

2008-01-11T13:39:00.012+08:00

The second son of the family, 3 years younger than me. He is either the smartest or the stupidest of all. Why do I say this? He is the one and only in the family who failed his primary exams so bad that he had to be retained to repeat not once but twice. Why is he the smartest? Our family was poor so it was natural progression that once you are done with Secondary education, you go look for a job to help supplement and pay for some of the expenses. So by repeating twice makes him 18 when he is done with secondary school, just in time for National Service which translates to another 2 years of not-officially-working status. When he gets out of National Service the situation of home would have improved, Richie Heaven who is only a year younger than him would have been working for a more than couple of years. He has an excuse not to contribute and supplement expenses, and this he did very, very well. As for being the stupidest, you can figure it out yourself.

He is a born stealer right from the word go. He is always looking for ways to get more for himself at the expense of everyone. When on rare occasions we had chicken like Chinese New Year, he would look for ways to steal before the actual dinner. And during the meal where my father always reminds us to watch the food served meaning if there were less we must make mental calculation to reduce accordingly and make sure enough food is spread around. He throws this teaching into trash and make sure he gets what he needed for growth and nutrition for his growing age. Incidentally, now that everyone is grown up, he is the shortest and smallest of the brothers. Even now he is still doing this although we have a lot more food and the fact that he is a fucking father of 2. What kind of fuck example is he fucking showing to his family – wife and children. He is still scorned by all others and often having unnecessary arguments over the selfish way he steals food.

Wood’s gripe water is a fucking laughing joke for the family and the community. As kids we would all line up to get ½ teaspoon every night. We didn’t know what this was all about. The fact that we got in-line for so little must means it is good, beneficial and precious. So one night Stealer Then went to steal, he took more than ½ bottle all at once and fell sick the next day. To find out why he got sick, my mother needed to know what he had taken that was not given to him or without her knowledge. He said nothing. It was finally disclosed that he fucking drank than ½ bottle gripe water. The entire community was laughing and joking to death at this fucking stupid greedy little bastard killing the hen that lays the golden egg.

While in secondary school he always wanted to join ECA that require expensive equipment and photography was one of them. If I remember correctly, those who didn’t have a SLR camera would wait for his turn to use the one supplied by the school. Needless to say, this was not ideal and probably the camera was also not a top-class quality. In those days, owning a camera is a luxury belonging to only middle-class. Being a stealer, he didn’t like this arrangement so what would he do? He went round the entire family except my father and me, asking them to break their piggy banks to lend him the money to buy a camera, promising them that he would repay from I don’t know where. He also conned my mother to pull out some money she had hidden away for emergency. He got what we never dreamt off and he never pays back the money he took. The vintage Minolta is being shown off in his glass cabinet as if he owned it. At that time, anyone trying to remind or ask about the money was threatened of being beaten up because he was the bully then. This tactic was successful and nobody dared to ask no more.

After National Service, he went for job interviews dressed in class from clothes made by me and accessories all from me. He looked a million dollar wearing tailor-made clothes, wearing Bally boots and Pierre Cardin or Lanvin belt. He got the job naturally but instead of paying back what he took or giving to his younger siblings or mother or contributing to family expenses, he started his big plan of saving for his future family. He didn’t want to associate with this poor, god-damned, debt-ridden family. He mixed with friends who all had girlfriend so to be in line with the crowd, he needed one.

So he quickly went for driving lessons so that he could drive my car. To a stealer driving my car was only the prelude, the finale was to use it as his. There were so many fucking times he drove my car away for work assignment or to impress girls without letting me know betting that I wouldn’t use it when I was in my tailor shop. He burned up fuel without refueling. It didn’t matter how many fucking times I yelled and fucked him, a fucking stealer never changed. As he progressed on, switching jobs working from SBS to Straits Times to New Nation he started using details of my car to claim transport allowance meant for car owners.

He managed to impress girls with his dressing and his car but soon he found out he was no fucking good in social conversation using English and was awkward and out of place. He dropped out of this kind of environment, went to re-sit for English papers and quietly got a lawyer to legally add an English name to his what must be shameful Chinese name. So from then on he was Jonathan or John. Does this mean he is no China-man, a man from the middle-class English-speaking society? He finally married a Malaysian girl from Penang and it ain't English-speaking at home.

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(11) My relationship with ‘Holy Molly’

2007-12-26T01:05:00.017+08:00

My relationship with Holy Molly and Humpback was very, very good right up till my marriage. Although the marriage was a mistake from the start, I was sucked into it by this Taiwanese whore who needed to escape from her illegitimate relationship with a married man. I was the convenient sucker and I could not explain to anyone at that time. Her whore-like behaviors among others, like playing video game from night till dawn, sleeping through till past noon, smoking and screaming and shouting whenever she was awake were not something I had ever dreamt of. But that is another story which has no place here, this whore is gone and out of my life.

Although I never forgave them for their meddling in my marriage, my divorce and my personal life but I somehow looked the other side and we got back very well again. This good relationship ended once again when I got myself a companion. She then led the entire family to betray my trust on all of them and force me distribute my money which of course she now denies.

This is what I get from my holy sister whom I have loved so much. Being just 1 year younger than her, I was very close to her. We talked and discussed everything together. I was always by her side to support her no matter what the matter was, right or wrong. When phone calls came in the middle of night for any kind of emergency, I would be there within 15 minutes, no question asked.

Back in the old carefree days, we would go out together for almost everything, drinking, movies, shopping, going out, beach, driving to

Malaysia

, etc. Yes, we liked going to lounge for live bands and drinks. There was never a feeling of shame to have a brother-in-law like Humpback. Whoever wanted our business cannot scorn him. My father always reminded me to pay and not let them do it as they don’t have great jobs or salaries. Humpback was treated as family. Because of her accounting background, she took care of the books for the tailor shop. We (my father and me) in turn made clothes for Humpback and we don’t take a cent for all the clothes we made. Holy Molly also had her beautiful pants made by me at no cost.

When she saw the cuteness of Richie Heaven’s first daughter, she decided to have one too. She then found that she was between a rock and a hard place, confiding to my father that she was afraid Humpback may not live long to help bring up the child. My father comforted her citing himself as a good example — a man with TB and 1 lung bringing up 7 children single-handedly. I was based overseas then and when I knew about this, I immediately sent her a bank draft of 4 figures to help out to buy some of the necessities for the birth of the child. When she was in labor and was real afraid and nervous, I stayed the entire night at the hospital together with Humpback to calm her because she knew Humpback was not as agile or mobile in case of any emergency.

When she first met with the whore (she didn’t know nothing of this whore’s scheme), instead of the usual gracious greetings and welcoming as a sister-in-law, she greeted the whore like she was head-of-family imposing rules of the house that I have never even heard of. The best of it all is that she did this in my house which she has no say or share. She must have believed she acted for God to run my affairs and my life. She created an immediate animosity and relationship between all of us broke down. They became instant enemies which was so child-like and unnecessary. Why did she do this? Jealous and fearful that now I am married, she would loose out on her say and share of my life and money?

So after 3 years of hell, it was time to file for divorce and to my fucking horror Holy Molly, my own fucking sister was arm-in-arm, side-by-side the whore helping and supporting her to fight me in court. How did this happen? The whore repented; Holy Molly and Humpback forgave her because in Christ, you can commit the most hideous crime but once you repent and ask for forgiveness then everything is forgiven. So the whore was converted and goes to church and they became a happy family while I became the devil. I now understand why religious extremists cut family blood ties, do anything that may hurt the family in the name of religion.

The whore claimed she was thrown out and locked out of the matrimonial house and she wanted to move back. So an upright Holy Molly went to court with her for justice without knowledge of the real facts. A young, cocky judge giving me the sinister look (because most if not all have sympathy for the female rather than the male in this kind of situation) asked for my explanation — the fucking fact was that during my absence the whore had ran away to Taiwan and then to meet her lover, tearing up all her Singapore papers and throwing the keys into the mailbox. I didn’t know until she called my office. She finally came back because she got no place to go or hide. She had in the past forced me to give up my family and move to

Taiwan

to take care of her family (you can fucking dream on), cut her wrist to fake suicide, lying she was pregnant, etc.

With the divorce proceeding full steam ahead and both Holy Molly and Humpback embarrassed at their failures to stop me, she went to her disciple Killer Whale for help and instigated him to go against me and betray me. One night he came back drunk in the middle of night and woke me up and threatened to beat me up on behalf of my late father if I went ahead with the divorce. He said my father was against it. Who the fuck is this Killer Whale? A convicted killer, a son who threatened to beat up his own father, act on behalf of my late father to tell me what to do with my life. Who the fuck is he to represent my father? How the fuck can he forget that he killed another seaman and that I used my dirty money to buy his way out of the Peruvian hell. This was the beginning of Killer Whale’s betrayal. This shows what evil and lies people will do to achieve their objective.

Was this necessary? My heart was broken. We stopped all forms of contact. Like I said before, somehow I looked the other side and after a few years of no contact we got back together although with some reservations. Once relationship was re-established, giving support to Holy Molly came back naturally without reservations. Whenever she had problems, I would try to help — problem with her daughter Sien, her husband Humpback, her computer, her work, etc. She had problems in church, was suspicious of funds donated for the building of new church so I helped her do up a database for donations which cannot be erased.

This good relationship went on until I found myself a companion. She showed her dislike the first time they met. Before long, about 6-7 years ago, in a sudden move at Killer Whale’s place during one of the family gatherings, she called all brothers and sisters for a family meeting to settle an important issue before the death of my mother. She said she was acting as head of family to settle all monetary issue before the death of my mother. My mother was not even sick but sitting out in the sitting room.

She accused me of making use of all my brothers’ and sisters’ CPF’s and monies for my own gain, using their CPF’s and monies to pay for the private apartment at 10D Napier Road that I was living in. As a result, they were all suffering and cramped up in small little HDB apartments with their families as they weren’t eligible to apply for a larger HDB apartment from HDB or money to buy re-sale HDB flat. I asked what right has she on my money that she didn’t have a share. She declared she was head-of-family after the death of my father and she had all the right to settle all family money matters. This fucking bitch together with Killer Whale and Nick The Snake were so fucking evil that they twists actual facts to betray my trust in them. Killer Whale told me with a finger pointing at my face saying long ago I no longer a brother.

Now that 10D Napier Road has been sold and every share distributed. I wanted a family meeting to settle the distribution so I went to church to look for her. She was so afraid of seeing me as though I was going to harm her. She denied everything; the meeting and her head-of-family status in forcing me distribute my money. Called Killer Whale to for protection. Called the police that I harass her. Why can’t she stand up and face me and the truth? Why Killer Whale for protection? Why not others? What can the police do? She needed to tell lies, to hide the past, the evil and the truth. I don’t, so the police or the court suits me fine. In desperation she called to scold my mother for giving her away, not knowing that my mother had also betrayed me and not been in contact with me. Was this call necessary if there was no evil done?

Humpback died some weeks after I went to look for Holy Molly. He was the one who had contact with lawyers, had introduced the lawyer for the purchase of 10D Napier Road. They must have checked with the lawyer on the legal terms of the purchase and set up this scheme to betray my trust legally. He has paid his dues for the evil he has done. She now lives in fear, is a scared piece of shit who has lost her soul. She hides inside her God of Protection Killer Whale’s new Honda Civic Hybrid SGX 4819 X which is bought from money stolen legally from me.

Looking at this, it shows a stark similarity in what these frail-looking religious extremists are doing in the name of religion, hiding behind religious organizations planning and conducting evil, recruiting and brain-washing followers to obey and carry out their hidden agendas. However, it is not religion that is the greatest motivating factor it is greed carried out in the name of religion which translate to no guilt or evil. There is this saying — ‘To kill an infidel is not murder but the path to Heaven’. In the name of religion; family trust, blood ties, truth and lies are meaningless because the bottom line is all of them became rich. Holy Molly, Humpback, Killer Whale, Nick the Snake, Richie Haven and Sorry all make up an extremely realistic case study.

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(10) Who is ‘Holy Molly’ Cho Yin Chun?

2007-12-25T21:04:00.006+08:00

The eldest sister, a piece of holy evil and ever since my father’s death she was the obsessed self-proclaimed head-of-family without giving any regard to my living mother. Isn’t my mother the head-of-family after the death of my father? I was very close to her, love her very much and know her very well since I am just a year younger than her. She was never outstanding since young, my father was never particularly fond of her. Because of her low status, she developed an inferiority characteristic and never did anything great all her life. She is just obsessed to claim to be the head of family and it shows in her work place.

Instead of putting aside her status and helping my father build up this poverty-stricken, God-forsaken, looked-down-upon family, she had other plans. She wanted out as soon as possible and the easiest way out was to get married. Hence she was already dating in her upper secondary school days.

She completed School Cert, then took up some basic part-time accounting courses. She wanted to be a teacher which would have suited her well, did relief teaching but academically wasn’t good enough for TTC (Teachers’ Training College) training because TTC wanted only HSC and higher education. So her dream of being a teacher was dashed she had to face reality and the real world.

She was never cut out for the real world, finding work as accounting assistant in various companies. In each and every one she ended up quitting because of problems with colleagues. She probably thought an accounting assistant could set her own rules, run the department and her colleagues would have to take her crap like she was head. After numerous job changes, she ended up working as a temp before finally going back to the church to work and seek refuge.

Her search for solace and the right man must have lead her to Christianity, her secret conversion and a Christian man called ‘Humpback’ Chia Mun Onn that shocked my father. My father had nothing against Humpback right from the start. He was just worried for Holy Molly that Humpback was not be able to take of her for life because a true-blue

China

man must have the backbone to take care and die for his family. My father would disown her if she were to marry him. They were smart to go to my father’s elder brother for help to persuade my father to accept the marriage which they claimed was God’s will and God’s gift to each one of them or was it.

It was definitely God’s gift for Holy Molly marrying into middle-class from our God-forsaken 2-bedroom HDB flat housing all 9 of us to a private 2-storey semi-detached house or was it? What a huge jump in status. It didn’t take long before problems began to surface with granny, brother-in-law, father-in-law and finally Humpback himself.

Finally they moved out and into their own HDB flat which was as bare as it could be. They don’t have no money to do much renovation or buy furniture. Relationship was good for a few years and a baby girl Chia Sien was born. But that was as far as Holy Molly could go, then reality and the real world was beginning to show up. There were problems with work, problems with money, problems with Humpback, problems with Sien, problems everywhere, problems with the real world. She just can’t handle the real world.

It was hell for her. There was complete breakdown in relationship, they would have divorced if not for her job at the church and that of a divorcee status. Anyway it was no difference, just a divorced couple living under the same roof. Did Humpback died recently? Was it payback time for someone I loved so much that plotted to betray me? Did Holy Molly shed crocodile tears or was it what she wanted?

So her family was nothing more than a cold, hard place. There was no warmth, she became more bitchy and more and more into God. Her status in the family was never something all the other siblings respected, more so now with a broken family, with no money and influence. This bunch of protected ass that I brought up and now having some luxuries of their own would know nothing but look down on those lesser ones and cover their inadequacies.

She was just a nobody, being left out. She needed some respect and the only way was to become bitchy. She poked her nose into everything and I mean everything and everywhere from family to work, to provoke, to draw attention, to secure a position. She knew Humpback wouldn’t live long, she will be alone and she didn’t want to revert to poverty state. Killer Whale after escaping from Peruvian prison was in the same fucking situation and they found solace in one another only whenever they were inconveniently tied up because Killer Whale would her to fuck off once she wasn’t needed.

With this firmly in place, she began her crusade to convert everyone in the family to Christianity because once converted she would have a little more say over them. She would act like God to reprimand those who didn’t attend service or over very petty issue in the name of God. It worked for a while but the novelty died. She even tried to convert me by sending someone to my home. It was a good try, he left with nothing. What is her belief in Christ? When Killer Whale killed another seamen on board NOL vessel off

Peru

, was imprisoned in

Peru

and abandoned by NOL; she told the family not to worry, Killer Whale will be all right because she prayed for him every night. Pray for what? What is a prayer? Pray for what? That his sin and evil act are no sin and no evil, that he will be free to return to

Singapore

safely? Is that what praying is all about? Pray for your own goals? What about the victim? What if he and his family were Christians? What do they pray for? Do we then have 2 different sets of prayers fighting somewhere out there?

I ain’t no fucking Christian, I did what I had to do in this real world to save Killer Whale. I used dirty money to buy out corrupt officials and corrupt system to get his fucking ass out of jail. I don’t talk, I don’t pray, I don’t run away, I don't ask no question on who is right or wrong, I just do it to save his fucking ass.

I always take care of them both, Holy Molly and Killer Whale, at every family function which we used to have very often. No matter where and how late those functions might have been, I would send them back individually traveling at opposite directions — one at Serangoon North and the other at Choa Chu Kang.

Her nature of poking her nose was exploited by all other siblings who wanted somebody stupid enough to stand up against me to push through issue they were against — not big issues but what we should have for Christmas or someone’s birthday or how to celebrate the Chinese New Year or when and how to celebrate my mother’s birthday. She would be lifted into heaven as the head-of-family to do the job but once it is done, she would be discarded, shouted upon to mind her fucking business. This costs her many of her jobs too. But she wanted this; she needed this to keep her going. What else is there for her?

Because of her fear going back to poverty, money was also an issue with her. She counted every penny and used to keep a record. Money became the main focus of her life, her problem with her family and Humpback was primarily because of money, family tie was a distant second.

So at a point when I no longer have a good income but was still paying the bills for family functions, it was brought up and agreed that everyone family should be paying a share. From then onward, family function has completely lost its meaning. It became meaningless. It was more like a buffet where the more you have in a family the more value you get for your share. Holy Molly did her sum and found that she was the loser of this game because she would turn up alone without Humpback and Sien and pay one share, whereas the others would turn up with 4 or 5 and also pay a single share. She later argued that it was not fair and she would boycott and not attend such functions anymore.

Family function was for family and not about business and money. I paid my share and I don’t have a family. What was most ridiculous was that they made my mother pay for her share (she doesn’t work and have no income) to attend a function to celebrate her birthday! This is my family regarding money.

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(9) The Beginning of Betrayal

2007-12-04T21:46:00.005+08:00

What worked for the business was the reverse at home as I didn’t have much time for home. When everyone had more to go around they began to want to dominate and want to have all the say. My father was badly weakened after the stroke and operation and with memory loss and he was basically reduced to a NOBODY.

This was the best opportunity for all others to take advantage, to start climbing all over him and fuck him. My mother, Stealer Then, Killer Whale would push him around and just wouldn’t give a damn to him as if he was a fucking leper. My father used to be the most dominant alpha male with backbone of steel but at this state he was having difficulty remembering and moving around town he just had to keep quiet at home most of the time and swallowed his pride. This was the saddest period I have with my father, it beats all previous ones.

To keep the peace and family harmony; and to maintain the family name, what I could do was to encourage my father to figure his way downtown to meet up with his old friends and indulge in his old habits and all others in the family to treat him with respect. As Big Bro and the sole-provider, my mother, Stealer Then and Killer Whale were probably forced to take my advice. The situation on surface was more peaceful but the underlying current was never calm. To try adding more zest to the monotonous life my father was going through, I tried as much as possible to organize driving trips to Malaysia. Everyone was always very enthusiastic because everything was paid for but not my father. My father could feel that the rest were treating him more a burden than a part of the trip so most of time he wouldn’t want to go. There were times when I had to force him by saying if you don’t go the trip is off but he would explain to me privately and honestly that he knew my intention. My regret is that I spent too much time and energy on the tailor shop and depended too much on my family to take care of my father. They all fucked my father up.

My father had to go back to hospital’s out-patient for follow-up and check-up after the operation. My car was used by Stealer Then to a point liked he actually owned it, it could just disappeared whenever he wanted it. He was responsible to send and fetch my father for the follow-up but after the few initial trips he made things so fucking difficult for my father that my father had to fuck him went on his own. Stealer Then never told me, everyone kept quiet liked nothing happened. I didn’t know until one day I had the time. I drove to the hospital to find my father squatting along the driveway trying to regain the memory of the address of our home. This sight was too much to take, I was crying and shouted why was this happening? My father then told me this was happening for quite a while but he didn’t want to bother me with petty stuffs.

My mother instead of giving more care and love to my father, schemed to make him a bloody fucking nuisance always causing problems to her and the family. She must have wanted him to die soon so that she could enjoy everything herself without any worry of my father's shadow hanging over her shoulders. I was always caught in the middle — the argument from my mother was always my father pretended not to remember the nasty things he did to her earlier while I was not at home. My father talked very little because of difficulty finding the right word to say and most if not all the allegations I find them hard to believe. To keep peace and family intact, I would always pacify my mother.

Killer Whale being the youngest of the lot was the worst, he showed total disrespect to my father. He grew up well protected by me because he was such a fucked-up from young — sick fuck with sinusitis and bed-wetting until at least primary 5 or 6, kept quiet when cheated by teacher, kept quiet when bullied into buying food for the bullies during recess, charged and sentenced to guard room during national service, stabbed and killed a fellow seaman while serving as a cadet on board NOL vessel off Peru, abandoned by NOL when taken and jailed by Peruvian authorities — simply, a sick, useless, fucked-up asshole. My father before the stroke had kicked him out of the family because he had threatened to beat my father up. After my father suffered a stroke, he on hearing the allegations from my mother actually hit him and he must have thought he had done something great.

More on each of my family member is next.

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(8) Assuming Full Responsibility

2007-12-01T19:13:00.003+08:00

With my father down and out-of-action, I took over full responsibility running the tailor shop and providing for the family. Not that I haven’t been doing it but actually doing it alone was with tremendous pressure added. What I took over wasn’t a kingdom but more or less an empty shell as my father had blown away a lot in gambling.

There wasn’t money in the bank to make rent which was 3 months advance, our usual 3-6 months credit term from most suppliers had overdue by almost 6 months and the worst of all was my father “so-called friends” turning up one after another to tell me how much my father had borrowed from them during gambling sessions, These assholes and motherfuckers were mostly parasites who used to stick around my father as his henchmen and enjoy free lunches. They now tell me that my father owned them money, unbelievable it may be but I told all of them that I am my father’s son and all they needed was to tell me how much, no question asked. I told them to give me time and I will repay in full, no question asked. Suppliers, who had been easy on my father, were coming hard at me.

It was a fucking hard time for me — the constant worry of my father’s condition and money and the family depending on me. As I cannot let my father down, I worked out my plan and strategy that cannot afford to fail. Working extra long hours quietly and alone doing as much as possible on what I would normally pass on to my tailors, I slowly built up some savings. I started clearing long overdue credits, paying off father’s debts and bringing the business to a whole new level. I was at a level where suppliers came pouring in to show me their merchandise. At times I was buying on cash terms for a bigger discount and higher profit. I am so fucking proud, I didn’t let my father down. He was fucking proud of me too, which was the least I could do.

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(7) Work Life – III

2007-11-27T20:09:00.002+08:00

I came back to find out my father had taken over a shop and started his own tailor shop. I also found out that he didn’t have no money and all the money to take over and start the tailor shop was borrowed. It was frightening to even think about this. That was my father, we just have to go forward without even worrying.

It was difficult time, every cent counted. We did everything ourselves, worked hard and long hours, every day including Sundays. We sounded out to our old clients that we were alive and kicking. We struggled for more than 2 years without break except on Chinese New Year. Even though we were struggling, we were in control of our destiny. My father because of his poor health could rest in between without worry, stowing himself underneath the work table, could break anytime to go for gambling sessions, just about do anything and anytime he liked. Although we were struggling, I was very happy he was able to live his own life. I just stayed at the shop without even a single grunt.

A lot of time, I was alone and it was fucking lonely but as time went on, I began to get used to being alone in my pursuit for excellence. I was focused; I cannot fail, I must bring honor to my father and my family and I did not fail. I am fucking proud I did it. We were more stable and began to regain our reputation. After more than 2 years of continuous work, we took an official break for Sundays but still a lot of time I would go back for ½ a day or anytime clients needed to come in on Sunday. It was a damn good feeling to be in the shop doing my father and family proud.

My entire concentration was put into the tailor shop and providing for the family. I was fucking proud of myself, the Big Bro. Whatever I missed during my growing up stage I would try to provide to my brothers and sisters. I wanted them to be somebody when they grow up, somebody better than me — a fucking well-respected tailor and cutter. They were dressed well to impress, of course with clothes made by me, get to share and use all my other stuffs and car, get to enjoy outings and trips and big meals and generally feel good. One thing I did not know until some 20 or 30 years later is that 'WHEN YOU ARE PROVIDING TO PARASITES YOU ARE THE Big Bro BUT ONCE YOU NO LONGER PROVIDE YOU ARE BETRAYED'.

My father was able to be more and more detached from the shop as I was running it very well. He spent more and more time away gambling than doing work. I was in fact very happy for him as this man-of-steel has come full circle to silence his fucking critics, to show them he is a real man.

As I was running the show, full-time in-camp reservist training was a problem and I applied to have it switched to part-time evening duty but it was once again not approved. Whenever I had to go, my father would have to come back and struggle as he can’t speak no English and his health was a problem. I persisted in my application, until finally I was called up for a very thorough interview. Sometime later a lady suddenly showed up at my tailor shop without any prior arrangement or appointment, she was a lieutenant sent here to see the actual operation of my tailor shop and the importance of me at the tailor shop. She sat through an entire afternoon, saw me worked with clients, with my tailors, with my cutting and fitting and finally saw my father crept out of his under-the-work-table bed. Before she left, she said she saw the importance of me in the tailor shop and understood more or less why I had said I was the sole breadwinner. The reply came and it was no fucking surprise that it was REJECTED. It was a dump trick, a fiasco, going through the motion. How the fuck can I trust the government?

All these took its toll on my father and he suffered a stroke that nearly killed him. An emergency operation was performed and he regained consciousness after almost a week with some memory loss. I was devastated. Can I put the blame on the government? What evidence do I have? Nothing — ‘Nada’ but to grab my balls and cry.

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(6) Work Life – II

2007-11-25T10:06:00.002+08:00

We were the best team in the business, he was the master and I was known as junior giving support and doing most of the work including all the dirty and muscle work. This was what I was born to be, to support him and doing my bit for him and the family. With my support, no one could tell my father was in poor health. I was able to cover any time he needed a rest or a nap — yes, all during work hours.

We worked with the best material of the time, all the big names in men’s fashion. We worked with very exclusive clients where tailoring and making clothes was an art. I worked on my own in my quest for excellence — studying, digging deep & analyzing tailoring styles and methods of other countries. At this age, I was fortunate to be either using or wearing all these big names in men’s fashion. My foundation and eye for style, fashion, class, elegance and quality was built and cemented.

But sadly all good things always come to an end, I was due for full-time national service. This was catastrophic as I needed the pay for the family and my father needed me to support him so that he could rest at any time during working hours. He needed this rest because of his health. Full-time national service would take all these away from us. In our desperation, we went night after night seeking out any friend or contact or whoever claiming to have some influence in the civil service to help me switch to serve part-time national service instead of full-time. After spending much time and money explaining and entertaining these people, all results turned out to be negative. In the end, I was to report in January 1973 for full-time national service.

After I left, an assistant to my father was engaged but my father had to push hard to cope with pressure of work. He didn’t get my kind of support and rest. His health deteriorated and he developed heart complication together with hypertension. He was struggling but I couldn’t do anything, my hands were tied. I began to really understand the lyrics of El Condor Pasa — “A man gets tied up to the ground, he gives the world its saddest sound”. To at least take home the bloody meager pay I got from national service, I went round buying extra and weekend duties from rich kids who could pay for somebody to do their allocated duties.

My mother was not helping in this situation, she probably thought her position was up a higher level and started rebelling, complaining and criticizing him. At one point, my father just stayed away from home, continued with his work and gambling only to go back in the morning for a shower and a change of clothes. I didn’t know about this until I went home during one weekend. I had a long discussion with my father at a coffee shop and he told me to leave the family with him. I had to pacify him, to tell him ignore all these petty stuffs and comments from women folks who know nothing of the outside world, to just endure until I was released from national service.

It was a long 2 years until I was finally freed from national service. Went back to join my father as the assistant and to continue my relentless chase and pursuit of excellence in men’s tailoring. We built ourselves a formidable reputation, however family life was not. My mother would look for opportunities to indirectly complain and criticize in front of my other siblings. I knew my father’s degenerate gambling habit would never change no matter whether my whole family liked it or not, this was something we have to live with it. So relationship between my parents was never good. I bet my mother would love to see my father “dead” the moment I was able to support the family on my own. This was the sad fact.

So once again, all good things come to an end. The new manager of the men’s shop was inching his way into the tailoring department to try wrestle control from my father and then one fine day, my father told him to fuck himself and walked out. That was my father’s character, he or rather we never returned. It was a show of real character and pride but on the other hand, we were out of work. At this inappropriate time, I was called up for reservist in-camp in Taiwan for 4 or 5 long weeks. I had to go so I left with a heavy heart not knowing what would happen when I returned.

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(5) Work Life – I

2007-11-20T22:12:00.002+08:00

Meantime in Malaysia, the race riot made the situation very unstable and risky, especially for a Singaporean Chinese man. We lost contact with my father during the week of the riot then miraculously a call from him telling us he was safe and he would leave for good once the situation was a little calmer. It was good news, a big relief — my father was coming back for good. The bad news was that he wouldn’t have a job and income. To tie over, he was back home working on whatever scraps he could find.

I was done with school so I went looking for a job for some money. Former schoolmate (a dropout) asked me to join the electronic factory in Jurong he was working, pays $3.00 a day, running 2 shifts. I grabbed it and started making my 1st dollar. I calculated down to the very cent required to make the day — transport, meals, etc so that I have enough left for the family. Shift work also equals meals at different times and getting in and out bed at different hours. I developed gastritis but didn’t go to a doctor, took antacid given by the industrial nurse and endured the pain.

The gastritis got worse and my father had me to quit, money or no money. My schoolmate got fired because of a freak accident and the two of us went to work as packers for a packing company which was actually coolies for a removal company. Pays $2.70 a day, no shift. This job was riding a truck to the destination — wrap/pack/load cargoes or unload/unpack/unwrap cargoes. This was also a job that clients who were mostly expatriates and their servants looked down. But to hell with them, I wasn’t there for respect.

My father found job with a mid-class tailor shop owned by an old acquaintance who addressed him Master. My father also managed to have me work there as an apprentice. Within 2 weeks, my father had to quit because this asshole was too afraid of his clients meeting my father. How the fuck can my father work when he had to stand outside the fitting room peeking in? Although he quit, he wanted me to continue but I refused because I cannot work with someone who cannot trust my father.

My father managed through his contacts find me another apprentice job. Pays $90.00 a month, works 9am to 9pm Monday to Saturday, 2 meals provided. The job was what we say “all-in” — serve and work with clients, sweeping, wiping, cleaning the entire shop (inside and outside), clearing rubbish, running errands for the boss and his entire family which included their whims and fancies and buying food for them and making deliveries after closing the shop. I worked for the money as I needed the money so I just kept everything inside myself. I became very quiet and turned very inward, I only talk with clients and to myself. I completely shut myself off, I was oblivious of surrounding, I just needed to excel in my work.

Mealtime was something special, the boss and his family take less than 5 minutes to finish and the table is left with me alone. I felt awkward and had to quickly gobble, never having a full meal. They could do this because they eat before mealtime — either by asking me to buy or picking up snacks they had stocked up. Either my father or mother would cook something for me when I got back home at about 10pm. Were they trying to skimp on their food because I didn't have time to eat or were they trying to make the break time as short as possible so that I was like back at the shop front almost without a break? I regret being too young to be a bit more thick-skinned to handle the situation.

My father met an old acquaintance back in the pre-confrontation days. He said the pre-confrontation exclusive men’s shop that my father was working in had reopened with a name and new boss and they were looking for another cutter. There was already a cutter there and he obviously wasn’t too happy seeing my father take this job. It wasn’t easy for my father either, there must be definite pressure for him to show off his class and mastery. It took even more on his already poor health but he had to hide it. The other cutter was fired not long after. Once my father was solely in charge, he asked to have me join him as assistant.

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(4) Growing Up — II

2007-11-17T15:50:00.003+08:00

Quitting school after Primary 6 was not allowed, so it was just the agony of watching my father suffers and toils. We were from bad to worse, until finally the ½-shop front tailor shop has to go. My father was back home doing contract work on whatever scraps he was able to find. It was hard watching him, frail and weak, toiling sometimes through the night because of some unexpected urgent work.

Things got a little better when there was news that the old 3rd floor workshop of the former men’s shop was put up for rental. My father took up the offer and it was back to tailoring by day and gambling den by night. I was once again doing my job running errands and odd jobs. Although it was better, it was by no means anywhere close to pre-confrontation days. My father’s gambling debt was mounting too, there were times that he asked me if I had some money put aside from the tips I got for doing errands. If I had he would borrow it from me but he always gives me back.

Then there was an offer for a master cutter and tailor job in a very exclusive supermarket cum mall in Kuala Lumpur. Those days, working across both sides of the causeway had no restriction. It was a good offer and my father took it up, coming back every 2 or 3 months to see the family. However the supermarket cum mall was very inaccessible and in order to save on daily taxi transportation, my father had no other option but to start riding a motorbike. He wasn’t much a rider, was awkward handling a bike. Finally disaster struck, he was hit by a car and the bike fell onto his right leg. He was hurt and was limping for more than 6 months.

It hurts real deep to see my father struggling to make a living, forcing himself to do things that he couldn’t even do well when he was younger. I was no longer with him as I was to continue study in Singapore. I go up there only on school holidays. My father would teach me how to take the train ride, sit still (except going to the toilet) and not listening to or believing in any stranger. The train would stop at the many train stations along the way, don’t loose focus and hold on to your baggage. When the train comes to the final stop and it won’t go no more I was to get down and head for the exit, he will be there waiting for me.

My father really took care of me making sure I wasn’t bored, taking me to movies and live-music concert hall, always buying me lots of food saying that I was growing, taking me around on weekends. As I got more proficient with tailoring, I began to help more in the actual sewing of the suit. I don’t complain how I spend my holidays when my classmates are spending theirs in other parts of the world. My only problem was usually the discussion time in class by the teacher on how you had spent your holidays. Mine would be quite a story, so most time I cook up something like in my auntie’s place.

My upper primary and secondary school days were without my father in Singapore. My mother was able to run the family well. She did a fine job, a really good job. I treated my mother with pure honesty, I confide in her on everything, I don’t hide anything – bad or good I tell her straight. We had no phone and in order to talk to my father we needed a number he could call. We asked the owner of the grocery store that we buy our groceries from if he would allow us to use his phone to talk to my father. He agreed and we were so happy we were able to speak with him once every weekend roughly after 6pm. In those days people like us “China-man” don’t know how to transfer funds through banks, we used reputable Traditional Chinese Medical Companies to do money transfer. My father would transfer money usually once every 2 weeks through them for my mother to pay the bills and run the family.

My mind was never like kids of my age, I knew I could never even dream of going through with the education program and end up with a diploma or a degree. I became a rebel, it was a time of Vietnam War, riots, hippies, drugs and Woodstock, I didn’t want to follow the system, I set my own rules but I make sure I don’t round hurting nobody. My own rules applied to myself only, it was not meant for the system.

Schooling was a disaster right from the start. My father loved me so much that he puts me into the best schools not knowing that I (or all of us) don’t belong there and it would do more harm than good. I was in one of the best kindergarten of that time, the usual mission-run. This kindergarten was introduced to him by another tailor whose daughter was teaching there. This guy who was nicknamed “under-shot” wasn’t much of a tailor but he sort of made it to middle-class because he spoke English. In a place where the principal was a foreigner and everyone spoke English and money talks in the form of periodical donations, I was totally out of place not because I wasn’t doing well academically but because I (and my family) don’t speak no English and don’t have no money.

Primary and Secondary education were even worse — another top-class mission school. Here was where I saw the true disparity between belonging here and out of place. If your address isn’t somewhere in one of the posh residential areas, you can be either ignored by some teachers (some form teachers don’t even recognize you) or you are being victimized or suspected wherever some kind of misdemeanor has been committed. Teachers and select students talked openly during class on personal things not related to the subject like what is your handicap? (I didn’t even know what handicap was until much older — they were actually talking about golf). There were also talks about things like the latest Seiko watch for kids or the Badminton Master from Bata, all of which I don’t know or ever dream of having. Kids were ferried to and from school in chauffer-driven cars while my mine was a combination of walking and riding a bus.

Like they say, being in a top school has its perks. We had free dental given by the Dental Training School at Outram Road. A bus would come to school once a week to pick us and send us back all inside the normal school hours. I had 5 or more years of dental treatment that protected my set of teeth and I am grateful and awfully proud of my set of teeth. I didn’t see a dentist until more than 20 years later. When US or UN food aid came to Singapore (yes, Singapore was a under-developed, 3rd-world nation), my school was selected and all kids went through health check. I was selected for free milk. Those selected were to bring a mug to school to be given free milk during recess break. I am thankful and grateful for this nutrition which was lacking during my growing age. There were also some classmates who didn’t show any class difference, treated me well and helped me.

I broke all the school rules (I always let my mother know) and was counseled by my form teacher. I told her I know my problems but I have no problem with the school or the system. I have my problems but I pass my exams. The final Cambridge School Certificate examination was the most difficult exam to sit — my mind was very confused, I would like to do well and go on to HSC…… but I know I couldn’t. I remember I put in effort to study but did I put in the effort during the actual examination? I think I did. When the result was released, I wasn’t in school but at the workshop doing my work. I passed but wasn’t happy with the result, I thought I did better. I asked myself why I was unhappy as I didn’t need the result for a job. This is one question I can’t answer myself up till today.

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(3) Growing Up — I

2007-11-12T11:22:00.006+08:00

So this was growing up time. I started to assume the role of Big Bro at a very young age, "Stealer Then" was 2 years younger than me so when I was in Primary 2 or 3, I had to start taking him to and back school and watch for him any time I happened to pass his class or during breaks to make sure he is alright and not being bullied.

Those days, schools aren't like what they are today — we had lots of repeat students (we called them "stay-back", they are allowed to repeat for 2 times and because they are older and stronger they go round bullying and extorting money), also many other natural ones who needed only to go round mentioning either the title of their parents or their siblings from such and such triad society.

In the beginning it was just a short walk, cross a road and walk a few blocks to school. A couple of years later we got into a rented 2-room HDB flat which required taking 2 bus services to get to school. My father could only spare 10 cents for 1 bus service (2-way, 5 cents each way) for each of us. He showed me how to work this out — I would get off at the farthest point which was bus depot and walk about a mile to reach school. Reverse it going back. I was taught how to use the pathway and traffic lights to cross the street, when to use raincoat or find shade during hot sunny days.

We didn't have any money for canteen break. I normally hangs around to find someone who just finished his bowl of beef noodles, picked up the bowl and spoon, washed them and walked back over to the same stall to ask for more soup as if I was the one who had the noodles earlier.

It was real recession time in Singapore, it was confrontation with Indonesia. A lot of businesses were closed, a lot of people were out of work, there was real terrorism, there were real bombings. The men's shop closed shop and my father was in deep trouble. He never had any savings, he has a family with young kids and more coming on the way and he must have gambling debts. Because of his reputation and character, he was offered a ½-shop front tailor shop that was not profitable to take over. It was the best at that time, he managed to borrow some money to take over the shop.

In those days, taking a bus during peak hours was like refugees fighting for their life in a war zone. Even worse for a kid taking care of another younger one. I had to hack and shove my way to get a hold of the door handle of the entrance my hand then swing my other arm wide to open up a passage for "Stealer Then" to quickly sneak in and go up.

In those violent times curfews, bombings, riots, fighting and flooding were order of the day. I must keep my eyes, ears and feel alert all the time, must gauge on the spot whether to believe what I see or hear or feel out on the road. The right decision to turn back and head home would avoid a lot of problems if not injury or death.

After bringing “Stealer Then” home and have lunch, I would take a bus ride to continue supporting for my father at the ½-shop front tailor shop doing 1 additional job of interpreting for my father. My English even as of now is nowhere near to any standard let alone at the lower-primary level of that time. Although it was a struggle it just had to be done. The few clients that he had were mostly English-speaking with only a few dialect-speaking towkays.

Workshop was gone too, just a couple of rented tailoring-work areas at somebody’s workshop. It was no longer walking distance but by bus. His own tailoring-work area was gone too and moved back home occupying ½ of the living area. However his gambling habit didn’t go with it.

As I didn’t have the guts to say it, I asked my mother to tell my father that I didn’t want to continue with study after Primary 6. Many kids of poor families are forced to do this and if there is a need later on they could do the adult night class. Winning a scholarship won't pay family bills. I set my mind to becoming a top class master tailor and cutter and help take care of my family.

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(2) My Family

2007-11-07T20:05:00.011+08:00

My closely-knit family is one that I never would have imagined to betray me. I have seen too many such incidents where siblings and siblings or children and parents fight each other to death (figuratively) in court because some black sheep(s) in family betrayed the FAMILY TRUST.

The introduction of my family (I am giving each a nickname that is more like their characters):

Father — Choo Wing, the master tailor and cutter who passed away on August 20th 1985

Mother — Chee Mui, the Christian, converted at and a member of Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church, Singapore

Eldest Sister — "Holy Molly" Cho Yin Chun, the Christian, who works at the Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church Singapore
Family Name recorded as "Cho" instead of "Choo" because my father didn't speak no English and in those days clerks at the Registry acted like they owned the Registry. You don't take what I give if you don't speak my language.

Eldest Brother-in-law — "Humpback" Chia Mun On, the Christian, converted at and a member of Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church

Singapore

. He used to work in the financial area of the civil service.

Eldest Son — Me, "Big Bro" Cho Kwok Hoong, the only son who succeeded my father to becoming a master tailor and cutter.
Family Name recorded as "Cho" instead of "Choo" because my father didn't speak no English and in those days clerks at the Registry acted like they owned the Registry. You take what I give if you don't speak my language.

2nd Brother — "Stealer Then" Choo Kwok Kwong, Jonathan, a typical Taoist who would pray, place ornaments, banners toward a certain direction or go to temples at certain hours or time because someone said so. He works for The New Paper as a photographer.

2nd Sister — "Richie Heaven" Choo Yin Looi, Winnie, the Christian, converted at and a member of Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church

Singapore

. A nurse clinician at KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital Neonatal Intensive Care Unit who until recently was a struggling staff nurse without a university degree supporting Sorry and the rest of the family.

2nd Brother-in-law — "Sorry" Tan Chek Wan, the Christian, converted at and a member of Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church

Singapore

. A dyeing plant worker and a property agent who was never able to pass CEHA test. He now works in a clothing factory in

China

as a quality control supervisor.

3rd Brother — "Killer Whale" Choo Kwok Heng, the Christian, converted at and a member of Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church

Singapore

. This is the NOL cadet who killed another seaman in

Peru

then abandoned and left to rot and die in

Peru

by NOL. With my dirty money, I bought his life back. But a weed is just a weed, a killer will always be a fucking killer and it is no fucking surprise this fucking killer would turn around and betray my trust and take my money with a fucking sinister smile.

and a pair of non-identical twins:

3rd Sister — "Twin Sis" Choo Yin Lin, the Christian, converted at and a member of Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church

Singapore

. A sister who through hard work and sacrifices had managed to obtain higher qualifications after secondary school. She works hard for the money; not by lying, cheating and stealing.

4th Brother — "Nick the Snake" Choo Kwok Wah, Nik, the Christian adulterer, converted at and a member of Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church

Singapore

. The exact opposite of Twin Sis, this conversion was for convenience to marry a Christian nurse clinician whom he can live off. A real fucking loser, a fucking snake without any backbone, never achieving anything himself and being looked down by in-laws. I gave this fucking loser dignity but this fucking loser turned around and betrayed my trust and took my money. The fucking loser is so afraid that he has gone into hiding.

Although my father passed away more than 10 years ago he is still my hero and biggest inspiration in life. He is what an upright, responsible head-of-family is all about: you make sure your actions are an inspiration to your kids, you make sure you bring up the family and you don't blame your kids no matter how tough the going gets. He didn't get much of education, just a few years of Cantonese back in his days in China.

My father was a master tailor and cutter who went through good old-fashion apprenticeship where apprentice gets beat up, cooks and does the laundry for the master among others. He also stood up for weaker apprentices as such he was well respected. He picked up the gambling vice and became addicted to it, but he never used that as an excuse to run away his responsibilities. Instead he always go around advising us and anyone he comes across on the evil of gambling, how it can wreck a perfectly normal, healthy family. His joke was always if you want to seek revenge go teach his son to bet on horses.

He excelled as a master tailor and cutter working with English master during the colonial days. He made suits for dignitaries such as presidents, ministers and professionals. His gambling addiction also increased and he lost a lot more than won. He borrowed from everyone to fund his lost, even down to his apprentice.

He got infected with Tuberculosis and was treated by SATA who wanted him to stop working for treatment of 1-2 years. He was to obtain social welfare relief during this period but not allowed to work. He worked out the math, it couldn't even pay for 3 basic meals for the family. He refused social welfare relief and work through the treatment period. He was unable to walk continuously for more than 10 yards or climb 10 steps without stopping to catch a breath. After completing treatment, he was left with only 1 lung. The problem of having just 1 lung stayed with him throughout his life, he always had problem with the lung and breathing.

His contradictory personality, first being a truly honest, upright and excellent father and a responsible and excellent master tailor and cutter to a downright degenerate gambler, draws a lot of jealousies and unwarranted criticisms. Everyone was saying he can't keep up with his lifestyle and his family would end up a wreck and they would end up in the streets. Everyone loves to see this happen just out of spite and jealousy.

I was always with him since young. Most of my time after school was spent at the tailor workshop which was on the 3rd floor of the men's shop he was working, which was nearby the school and where we were living. I grew up practically with him, not with my mother or other family members, helping out on errands and odd jobs between the workshop and the men's shop. I also stayed back in the night to do these errands and odd jobs when the workshop turned itself into a mahjong den.

Even though I was exposed to gambling at young, I was told not to look or learn. Something I am proud that I didn't pick up. Also taking advantage of this situation, I began quietly to learn on my own the art of men's tailoring. I would stand or sit around my father or the other tailors to watch and listen to them. With such an excellent father and upbringing, how can I not take it up to protect this glorious family name?

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(1) Introduction

2007-11-05T22:05:00.003+08:00

This is my story who as the eldest son of a poor family fulfilled the responsibility of supporting and helping my father bring up a family 7 children in total — me and 6 brothers and sisters. This is not because I was forced into but because it is a duty I am proud and honored to perform. This is my belief in the aged-old tradition of a true-blue Chinese that the eldest son shoulders all the responsibilities.

Being born into a poor family, to a father in poor health was not something that I complain. On the other hand, I am grateful and I wouldn't choose another if given another chance. My father is a man with backbone harder than steel, a man who does not bend or go with the flow or go with the wind, a man who does what he believes. He does not ask for charity or pity, he finds and works his way out of adversity. I am really grateful I was so close to him to be influenced by him and inherited some of his traits.

My father has passed away in 1985. My family now consists of my mother, me and my 6 brothers and sisters.

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